Most of my research has been based on ethnographic method. Therefore inevitable I have experienced different feelings between the roles of a researcher and practitioner during my fieldwork. My different roles makes me sometimes and in some cases confused instead of making me happy. I work with immigrants who have heterogeneous backgrounds. They belong to different identities, and therefore in deep interaction I sometimes feel like losing my own identity and ethnicity. Being involved in a volunteer work, my aim is to hear out and promote their interest, and as a researcher, one is ought to try to remain neutral and impartial. As a member of ethnic group, it is hard to hear their sense of social exclusion and discrimination, which creates feelings of guilt, embarrassment and worthlessness in me. I enter into their world by addressing certain issues for protecting them from some potential pain and distress as they are considered as a vulnerable group. Although I know that the result of my work may not necessarily change their life or lessen their pain, I try to give them voice which to be heard.

I interviewed one immigrant at the very begging of my research career during a project work. At that time, the interviewee was unemployed and my interview was related in fostering labor market integration for immigrant in Lapland. When I interview the same man after four years, he was still unemployed. The man had given his opinions and views several times individually to other researchers and journalists, invited for participating workshops, seminars during this four years’ time on the same topics, which are about reducing unemployment rate among immigrants. He was disappointed that people just use his opinions and take advantages of his views; however his position is unchanged after all this time. Other interviewee has unemployed for 9 years. As an insider of that group, I feel guilty that I am also using them and increasing their burden. I was developing my work based on the misery of others belonging to my own group, living in different circumstances. Was I concealing the real issues?

However I know that I am neither doing any potential harm to them, for sure, nor any change for their lives. This feelings of guilt makes me sympathetic towards my informants and aiming to aid them by doing an development project which will improve their position in the society.  As a result, we have started our new development project, which priority is to support immigrants to get access to the labor markets in Finnish Lapland. The project will create new jobs for immigrant and simultaneously research materials that can be utilized after the ending of the development project for research purposes. Also the establishment of voluntary association for Arctic immigrants, working against social exclusion and aiming to integrate immigrants successfully in the society as active citizens, while simultaneously sharing information about diversity among people, is part of the same aim for sustainable development. So, there is no more feelings of guilt and no need for pretending.

Text by Nafisa Yeasmin